I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
