Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
