I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
