i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
