remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
