we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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