He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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