Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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