i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
