I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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