I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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