Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize