I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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