We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
