the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
