JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
