I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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