Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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