i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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