They should really pass out barf bags in church
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
