i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize