i need an iv and a liver transplant
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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