she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
