yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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