Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
