There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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