I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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