i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
