your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
