Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
