Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This is my gift to your gina
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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