oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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