At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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