She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize