You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
