chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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