You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hippo gnu deer
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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