Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize