She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
