I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Panties = found
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
