so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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