There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
