She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
