We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
