i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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