DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
