That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
