that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
