Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
