how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
