So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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