it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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