So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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