God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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