she woke up with a sticky ear
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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