she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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