I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
