you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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