So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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