so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
