Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
