we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
